D3 body, D1 cock
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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