If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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