Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize