It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
