don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
