once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
