Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
