Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
