her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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