Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
