i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
