I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize