I haven't been this sober since birth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
