He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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