found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
