you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
