would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I could fuck to npr.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
