You're like the curious george of whores
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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