Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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