ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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