I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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