that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Someone signed my nipple.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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