Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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