i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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