He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
