So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
