Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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