why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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