I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
