I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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