Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
