the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
