i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize