You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
