Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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