Plan B is the new Plan A
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
