I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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