so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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