and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
