Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
