PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
