Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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