We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
