I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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