How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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