Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
