Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
