And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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