I must be too annoying 4 u.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
