I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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