pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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