do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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