if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize