just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
